


Veni, Vidi, Vina

by allthetrek



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 22:28:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18375341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthetrek/pseuds/allthetrek
Summary: Captain Pike never thought he would see Vina again. Now, he’s torn between his experiences on Talos IV and his growing love for you.Warnings: possible spoilers, angst.





	Veni, Vidi, Vina

You watched Captain Pike go about his duties on the bridge. He sat in the command chair, his gaze fixed on the viewscreen ahead, watching stars fly by at warp. Streaks of light slipped by, but Christopher’s gaze did not follow the view. Instead, his mind was a hundred light years away, his troublesome thoughts distracting him as they had been for almost a week now.

He never imagined he would see Vina again. Leaving her on Talos IV was one of the most difficult things he’d ever had to do. He’d cared for her, about what happened to her, but the situation was… Unnatural. What about his experiences in space had been ‘natural’ though, really? Disturbing. Perhaps that was the word. The Captain knew how Vina felt about him, and he had felt something for her too. Perhaps not love, no, that wasn’t a word he threw around lightly. Attraction. Physical, carnal chemistry. Seeing her again, it really threw him off.

He had thought of her often since leaving, and had obsessed over why she wouldn’t leave with him. Over whether or not she was happy, and safe. The woman he’d gotten to know, the deception of her true form, the mentally exhausting ordeal he’d been through on Talos IV… A pit started to form in his stomach, one he was becoming more and more familiar with feeling.

“Captain, sensors are detecting subspace distortions ahead,” reported Saru, snapping the Captain out of his dark thoughts. 

“Can you determine their source, Commander?” the Captain asked, transitioning seamlessly from brooding to his command responsibilities. A handy skill for someone who broods so much.

“They appear to be a natural occurrence in this region of space. However, they may affect the warp field. I recommend we continue at warp but try to avoid any major contact with the anomalies,” Saru continued.

“Detmer, adjust heading accordingly,” the Captain commanded, and was met with an affirmation. He melted back into his chair, his eyes again losing focus of his present surroundings. Resume brooding.

*** Later ***

You’d noticed a change in Christopher over the past week. At first, you thought it would pass, but his distant demeanor was persisting, and he seemed to be avoiding you. You were determined to get to the bottom of what was bothering him. You mentioned the Captain’s change in behavior to Michael, who you were having lunch with in the mess hall. No one knew you and the Captain were together yet. It was a fairly new development, and you’d decided to keep it under wraps at least until your current mission was complete. Then, you could decide where things were going to go. And you were pretty sure they were going to continue going at warp like they had been. Until, that is, Christopher had hit the brakes recently.

You listened intently as Michael dispensed the details of Talos IV to you. Most of it you already knew from reading the reports everyone involved had filed, but suddenly she began talking about a woman named Vina. You pressed her for details, as casually as you could of course, though every fiber of your being was aching for ALL the details! Who was this mystery woman? What kind of history did she have with Christopher? And why hadn’t he mentioned her?

Michael continued dishing the details and you listened intently (but not too intently), especially as she told you of how the Talosians had helped Vina communicate with the Captain aboard the ship. Wait, so he talked to Vina again?

You finished chatting with Michael and went to finish the second half of your shift, more questions than before swirling around your now increasingly troubled mind.

*** Even Later ***

You decided to confront Christopher after dinner. “Computer, where is Captain Pike?” you asked the wall console outside the mess hall.

“Captain Pike is in his quarters,” the computer chimed back to you in its usual monotonous, slightly robotic tone.

You headed down the ship’s corridors, winding your way to Christopher’s quarters, apprehension building with each step you took. This wasn’t a conversation you particularly wanted to have with him, but you had to. You couldn’t understand why he hadn’t told you about Vina. You thought the two of you were getting close; you were opening your heart to him, trusting him not to hurt you…

Well, this was it. You arrived in front of his quarters and pressed the comm. No answer. You pressed it again, and heard a muffled “Come” from inside.

You entered Christopher’s quarters, walking inside, the doors hissing shut behind you. Your eyes searched the Captain’s tidy abode and you saw him sitting on the sofa, dressed in his lounge clothes, a black long-sleeved tee and black sweatpants. A PADD was in his hands, and his feet were casually up on the sofa.

“[Y/N], what can I do for you?” he asked, his expression and tone more serious than you were used to. He was usually excited to see you, but his energy was completely off tonight.

“Capt… Ah, Chris. I just wanted to… See if you were okay,” you stated, now having no idea what to say now that you were in his quarters. Maybe you should have prepared more. No, you’d been overthinking this all day. You were prepared.

Christopher set the PADD aside on the end table next to the sofa. A weak smile adorned his features, and he looked up at you curiously, as he moved his legs down from the sofa and patted the spot beside him for you to sit.

You obliged, sitting beside him, the cushions slightly warm from his presence. You instinctively sat sideways, facing him and swinging your legs up and over his lap as you usually did when the two of you spent time in his quarters. On more pleasant occasions than this.

Christopher’s hands came to your legs on his lap, one holding them in place, the other rubbing soothingly along your thigh, a habit he’d developed and that you loved. He looked into your eyes, and you stared into his mesmerizing blue orbs, searching for the source of his distance.

“What makes you think I’m not okay?” he asked, though his tone betrayed him. He couldn’t help but open up to you. He had in the past, and you had always been nothing but supportive and accepting. He wanted to talk to you, and inside he began to feel relief that you had come to him tonight. He knew you would see though any façade he put up, and so he was prepared to talk to you, to tell you everything. But, you already knew, at least the objective details.

“Chris, I know about Vina. I know you saw her. You haven’t seemed the same since… I just… I need you to tell me what you’re feeling. Please,” you implored him, your tone steady and calm, not wanting to push him but still needing answers.

Christopher squinted slightly at you, processing your words, trying to figure out how you knew all the details without him telling you. News travelled at light speed on a starship. Any news, any gossip, it always made its way around the cosmic grapevine. Of course.

He sighed and looked at your legs in his lap, focusing his thoughts before he spoke.

“[Y/N]… Whatever you heard… It’s not…,” he started, but struggled to organize his thoughts. Where to start?

“Who is Vina?” you asked him. A lot of the data on Talos IV was classified, and you didn’t have the whole story. Even reading the recent mission reports, some portions were redacted; only those with higher security clearance had access to the information.

Christopher swallowed the lump in his throat. He began at the beginning, his mission on the Enterprise and the ordeal on Talos IV. Vina’s presence there, and how she’d been pushed on him by the Talosians. Their strange relationship, and how things ended with him leaving.

“I never thought I’d see Vina again,” he continued, “I used to think of her often, but then I met you, and she crossed my mind less and less… Then, seeing her again… I felt sorry for her, and guilty that I had stopped thinking of her. I don’t know…” he trailed off, his gaze out of focus again as he receded into his mind, analyzing his thoughts and emotions.

You took in his explanation, all of it synchronous with what you already knew, but filling in the large gaps. Should he even have been telling you all of this? It was classified information… There was a ban on Talos IV; no Federation contact with their world. Now you knew why. You were glad of Christopher’s honesty, his openness. But he was so conflicted, sitting here beside you, the weight on him was palpable.

“Did you love her?” you asked him. You needed to know. You deserved to know.

Christopher snapped out of his thoughts and looked into your concerned, beautiful eyes. “I was attracted to her. But… No. No I wasn’t in love with her,” he stated with sincerity. Your gaze softened, appreciative of his candor. You nodded slowly, putting together all that had been communicated.

“So you feel guilty because she’s still there? And that you’re… Happy?” you asked, probing more.

Christopher thought for another moment. “No, I… I feel guilty because of how I feel for you. That I never felt that for her, but she wanted me to so badly. That… I couldn’t… Can’t make her happy.”

Your heart twinged at his words. He was such a good man. But he took too much responsibility for the happiness of others, at his own expense.

“How did she seem, when you saw her? Did she say something to make you feel this way?” you queried.

“No. No, she seemed… Content. She didn’t seem to regret staying on Talos IV,” he replied, his brow furrowed as he relived his interaction with Vina for the hundredth time in his mind.

“Then she’s okay. You don’t have to feel guilty for not reciprocating her feelings. If you had stayed with her, tried to be what she wanted from you, it wouldn’t have been genuine. It wouldn’t have been you,” you stated reassuringly. You placed your hands on top of his and squeezed them.

But, he wasn’t so easily convinced. Your words made sense to him, of course. But he was in a cycle of self-criticism and it was hard to pull him out of it. If anyone could though, it was you.

“You deserve to be happy. Just like everyone else. That’s all I want for you,” you trailed off, the thought of his pain bringing stinging tears to your eyes.

Christopher couldn’t stand to see you hurt, especially knowing he was the cause of it, even if your tears were ones of empathy.

“[Y/N]… I’m sorry, I…,” he apologized, putting his arm around you and pulling you into him. He held you against his chest, his other arm parallel to your thigh and pulling your whole body tightly into him. You cuddled up into him, relaxing into his embrace, and he began to relax with you, your soft energy calming him and pulling him slowly out of his pit of despair.

You sniffled a bit, stifling your sadness as you leaned into him. You whispered against his shoulder, your words trailing up and into his ear like little wisps of love and comfort.

“I can’t imagine what it was like, what you went through. But don’t feel guilty because I’m in your life now. Feel grateful that you’ve had so much connection in your life. I’m grateful for you, for what we have.”

You pulled away from his shoulder, your fingertips coming to his jawline as you pulled his gaze to yours, looking at him with intention. “I would never ask you to forget about someone you care about. She’s part of your past, part of you, and it’s okay to think about her. And it’s okay to move on. You have to let go.”

Christopher stared into your loving eyes, searching for anything that would keep him on his trajectory of despondency, but he found nothing but kindness and sincerity. He took a breath in, his lungs filling with cleansing air in what felt like the first time in a week. Relief began to take hold of him and he stopped fighting it. Stopped fighting you, and himself.

His expression softened to match yours, and a self-deprecating smile crossed his lips, inviting yours, and you leaned in and kissed him. Your warm lips pressed against his, your fingers tracing his cheek and jawline as you kissed him passionately, conveying your acceptance of his entirety. He reciprocated your passion, his hand leaving your thigh and coming to your cheek as he held you how he wanted, kissing you and rubbing his thumb up and down your soft cheek as his tongue played with yours, claiming you as his, unapologetically.


End file.
